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Monday, 25 April 2011

It's good bye, but not good bye

I'll cut to the chase. No beating around the bush.

I've decided to have a break from scrapping, I don't know for how long, really the way I feel it is verging on indefinite. It bores me, I don't like the bitchiness, the competitiveness, feeling like you have to live up to everyone expectations, feeling like I'm just not good enough, the pressure, not having time to complete my Uni assignments...... I'm unmotivated, lacking drive to want to scrap, really if I look at it, it does come down to the fact that right now I find scrapping so boring, I look at my room try and start a page and its such a chore, and a boring chore, I'd rather scrub my toilet.....

Now don't get me wrong, I have made some great friends, some who I am looking forward to meeting in June, but scrapping is just not for me at the moment. I'm taking the next month off, no scrapping AT ALL and at the end of May I'm going to reasses how I feel. I am grateful of the teams which I have designed for.

I'm just sick of what was a fun hobby turning into something that makes me feel like shit.

There will still be a few layouts popping up until some DT commitments run out, most in a couple months.  I've already stepped away from Helmar and Annas so you won't see me popping up there anymore.

You know what, I feel such relief about this. It's a huge relief to have decided this. A weight has been lifted.

I'm still going to share things, more crafty things like mixed media and canvases. So while I'm saying good bye to the scrapbooking I'm not entirely saying good bye to being creative.

So that is me.

:)

31 comments:

donna said...

I am sorry to hear that you have stopped scrapping Nic :(
I have always had the belief that I am doing it for my kids and me and I dont really give a damn whether anyone else likes it or not
I have gone through stages where I have doubted my work as well, but when my girls ummm and ahhh over the pages that I have done of them... that is all that matters to me.
good luck on your studies honey....

Jen said...

I have been inspired by your scrap pages and love you unique style. I am sorry that it has become a chore for you and you have lost your love for scrapping. I sure can understand being a busy mum and studying and doing life and all those extra committments can suck away all creativity and what was a joy becomes somthing you dread. Maybe you could just scrap for your family again, no groups etc just making memories for your family to treasure :D People can be harsh and there will always be people who love to compete and criticise, don't let them pull you down, stand proud, you are more than good enough, you are always an inspiration to many. Sounds like you just need a change and a refocus and things will look up again. Thank you for letting me into your corner of the world for awhile :D You helped me to let go and just enjoy the creative process and not worry about the rules...I wish you all the best :D

Nadia Cannizzo said...

WOW! I HOPE that you will find the inner peace you are seeking because if you are not enjoying this then WHAT is the point? Really ...WHAT IS THE POINT?

You are right..we all start out as wanting a hobby ..to pass the time, to feel good about something you are creating. But when that turns into a competition and a feeling of incompetence then you need to let it go and hopefully you will find your way again!

I can SO empathise with you right now, because scrapping for me too has turned into a list of assignments to complete...i.e. before I even finish one layout, in my head I am crossing it off the list and saying 'next!". I am still enjoying it but just today I found my very first layout from 2 years back! It looked like a 5 year old had put it together...but I remember feeling SO happy when I created it! When you loose that happiness its not worth it anymore.

I WISH YOU the best of luck...I hope your studies and your family life go well and everything else will follow.

Take care, NAdia.

Hilde/Scoobie said...

It has been a true pleasure seeing your creations and your wonderful work, but I perfectly understand your choice. Take your time, fill it up with other activities you WANT to do for a while. A month passes quickly so don't you stress if you can't make up your mind when the month of May is gone.

Thank you for sharing, Nicole. Best wishes for your new freedom!

LG said...

Whatever you decide upon I am here to support and respect your decision. You are an amazing and talented woman and you know what is right for you. I will definitely miss your scrapbooking but I am sure you will continue to inspire me in other ways because you are an artist, a very good one.

Jules said...

Oh Nooooooo! OMGosh nic... i will so miss your ever present inspo and enthusiasm! i get it tho. i know how it feels sometimes with all the commitments and everything coming at you from all angles. i'm constantly amazed with your level of creative output while dealing with family, study and everyday at the same time. I've always been a comparatively slow scrapper and have often felt the pressure to do more... i don't tho, cause i'm not happy with, nor proud of layouts that i rush to get done... it really defeats the purpose if i don't like what i'm doing... so i really do get it. so sad to hear that you have experienced negative 'stuff' and competetiveness... that can't be easy when the way i see it, we are all here to inspire and encourage. i've always seen you as an absolute inpiration and for that reason, i will still stalk you, so i hope you still post your creative genius in some form. Good luck with the studies nic... stay in touch... jules :) x

Stacey Michaud said...

I will miss you and your amazing work, but totally get it. Life is too short and moments with family and friends are too fleeting. Enjoy life and watch what unfolds. You can always still chat at the Nook if you are up for it!

Scrap Savvy said...

Nicole, You are such a phenomenally talented person so it is sad that you have come to feel this way. I wish you happiness, health and much love during your sabatical.

Aga said...

Oh Nic, your blog is one of the ones I always looked forward to visiting just to soak up your creative ideas, and it makes me sad to think that your passion has been dampened by what sounds like a lot of other people's shit! It really sucks that this seems to happen to so many wonderfully talented scrappers, but I can totally understand where you are coming from about not feeling good enough, or when all the commitments turn into a chore... so I wish you the best of luck with your studies and will continue to stalk your blog for any snippets of creativity you chose to share!
Aga xx

Jasmine S said...

Good luck Nicole. You have to enjoy it and at least you can still get your hands dirty in some other art form. I think your work has been truly inspirational and I believe you still 'have it'.
Good luck and I look forward to anything you blog.

Jessemiah said...

Well Miss Nic P.....Do what you have to do to feel FAB : ) You know scrapping will ALWAYS be around...So if the need arises to scrap its always there hehe.....You have to make sure your hobbies are for you...something that gives you joy!! I LOVE all the non scrappy things you do....you definately have a gift! Gosh we all take on so many commitments....and sometimes in can feel so daunting....I know that there is a down side to emerging oneselve in the online scrapping world....it means we are constantly surrounded by amazing work and I know it can leave me feeling less that adequate....You rock Miss N to the P....be true to yourself and you'll be happy! Love and Peace xox

Cathy said...

Oh I am so sorry to hear that you don't enjoy scrapping at the moment Nic as your work is truly inspirational, but I totally understand your reasons and you really need to do what is best for you and your family. I so hope that you don't totally give it away as I will truly miss seeing your gorgeous creations... maybe just scrapping for yourself will bring back a bit of the joy to your scrapping. I wish you the best of luck with your studies and whatever path you choose for yourself. Sending you big squeezy hugs :)

Maria said...

I wish you all the happiness in the world Nic. I love your work and often come visit for ideas. It is sad that there are those who can be so critical and cruel - for a hobby that is supposed to be fun. I hope you will still be around with the things that you enjoy. Goodluck with your studies and future. Wish your beautiful family happiness.

Shell said...

Oh Nic. I can totally relate to how you are feeling atm and I applaud you for having the guts to follow your heart and down scissors for a while.
We scrapbook for fun right and if its no longer fun whats the point.
Ill miss seeing your gorgeous creations but I look forward to seeing your mixed media.
I hope that the break is exactly what you need and that you feel refreshed and re inspired. All the best.
Shell xx

Buttercup said...

What you wrote I could have written about how I felt a little while ago.. I used to LOVE scrapping,and then it got to a stage where it got to the point I was only doing competitions or challenges. I tried for a loong time to gte Published to no avail, I 2nd guessed my layouts. Im not even "famous" in my scrapping world but the pressure was intense. I find the online community of scrapping to be aamazing but also like you said competitive and bitchy at the same time. Suddenly the hobby I enjoyed became "work".. I took a break for a bit.. maybe a month I did none at all.. and came back and enjoyed it alot more. Im not on any DT, I gave up being published, I only enter challenges if I like it/want to do it/it inspires me. I know who my realy friends and critics are.. In this scrapping world I am a nobody but I like it that way. I wish you all the best!!

Jane said...

I'm sad to hear that scrapping no longer brings you joy Nic, you've certainly inspired me over the years. Wishing all the best on your other endeavours and perhaps you'll find the buzz of scrapping again.

Ebony van der Starre said...

Hi Nic,
I will really miss seeing your stunning work but TOTALLY understand we are you are coming from. You never need to doubt yourself chickie......you are totally awesome and I hope you find the enjoyment again one day....for yourself. Good luck with uni work and your mixed media. I am doing the she art class too so would love to see your creations!! xxx Take care!

Dale Tiernan said...

Life is too short. Do what makes you happy I say.

Alannah said...

good luck with your scrap break. Uni is important to you, and so are the kids, so do what feels right. I haven't scrapped this year, except for a few cards and a BTP as a present, which I really enjoyed doing as they were for someone else. Maybe that is the secret, do something paper related that is for someone else.( of course there is always an assignment for Uni paper related).

Alicia Redshaw said...

Hi Nic
It is sad to hear that you have had to do this, but great to see you putting yourself and your family first. It is hard to do, but trust me it is so very liberating and the weight seems to lift instantly. Your work is fabulous and that is what matters, not what someone else thinks. Good luck with Uni, and hopefully you will still have time to come by the shop for a chat occasionally.
Take care and talk soon
Alicia.R.

Catie said...

So sorry to hear you haven't been enjoying your scrapping Nic! On a selfish note, I've enjoyed your scrapping a lot and find you to be such an inspiring scrapper. I really hope you enjoy your 'time off' and can really get stuck in to your studies. I hope you feel invigorated and happy with however you spend your time in the coming month and months and that we'll still get to see some of your creations around the traps at some stage. All the best lovely lady xo

Back to New Blinds said...

totally get where you are coming from. I gave up 2 years ago abd don't miss it. Best bit is still friends with so many scrap buddies. Enjoy a change of craft.

Susan said...

I just wanted you to know that you are a huge inspiration to me! I love your work. I do know how you feel as I teach at my local scrapbooking store and always feel like I have to perform and come up with a project that will please the masses. I hope you will be back.

Paula said...

I too am sorry to hear your news, I have always loved popping in here & having a sticky at your gorgeous creations. Hope the break gives you the 'balance' in life you are looking for...hopefully too brings back your passion! Good luck!

Chantal said...

All the best Nic! I think your work is wonderful, but of course if you are not enjoying it then what's the point?! Enjoy your break and all the best with your studies and what may be a new chapter too!
(Hugs)
Chantal :)

Melinda said...

Oh Nic, I have just come home to open up your blog and found what you have written, you so could have written that for me!!! I too have been feeling the competitiveness of this art and really feel flat about it everytime I try and scrap something. I am glad a couple of my committments are coming to an end soon because I really think I need to just scrap because I want to not because people expect me to. Not that I had as many committments as you did but still I always found alot of pressure to 'do something amazing' IYKWIM...anyway take care of yourself...immerse yourself in your studies and your mixed media stuff and your precious little family and I am sure after a little time away, you will feel ready to pick up the scissors again.
HUGS babe :))
xx

miasmummy said...

Well, I'm damn sad about it. I have watched you grow and grow with your style over the years... I love how you have put your memories down over the years... It's hard that it's all so competitive, lucky for me I can't be stuffed with all that side of things (and couldn't take too much rejection really) but I do appreciate all the blood, sweat and tears that goes into yours and many others pages.. I hope you continue to scrap at some stage just for your kids... (and maybe for meeeeee to have a sneak peek at too, lol) I too am one of the ones who comes to your blog for inspiration!! xxx

By Shawna Rae said...

This is coming from someone that hasn't been involved with the online crafting community until just recently. Reading your post made me really think "where do I want to go with my love of crafting?". I see where it's VERY easy to get sucked into wanting to join different groups for challenges - swaps - and even applying for DT positions. I don't want to loose this joy and excitement that I get from scrapping and card making - it's a great relaxation for me and a sense of satisfaction. Your openness about your feelings has made me put my thinking in check. I wish you much happiness and satisfaction with your upcoming month of freedom. Maybe you'll get back to scrapping down the road and enjoy it again. Hugs to you.

Claire said...

So sorry to hear there has been some negativity. I think your work is beautiful and look forward to you coming back refreshed and ready to give us some of your fabulous scrappy goodness!

Claire said...

So sorry to hear there has been some negativity. I think your work is beautiful and look forward to you coming back refreshed and ready to give us some of your fabulous scrappy goodness!

Shimano (aka Christine) said...

Nic - I only just found out about this and I am agreeing with you. So glad for my shoulder surgery as it has given me the chance to have a break and really think about it.
Yes there is bitchiness about scrapping and recently beginning of the year something happened to really upset me in the scrapping world.
I do love your creations but YES there is more to life than scrapping, hoping to see some more of your creations in the future (if an when you want to scrap).
xx