Last Night I looked in the mirror and realised I don't like the person staring back at me.
I feel fat, frumpy, old, worn out, worn down, tired, anxious, emotional, a complete and utter mess.
There was no ME looking back at me. I don't know where that girl has gone but definitely not there
Don't get me wrong I love being a wife and mummy but there is something missing....
So I started to think,
well the past 72 months (aka 6 YEARS) I've
- spent 36 months pregnant
- fed babies for 37 months (and still feeding)
- studied and still studying for the past 32 months, doing 2 courses.
- had 6 WEEKS, yes you read right, of not being pregnant or breastfeeding
- not including giving birth I've had 4 days away from the kids without having to worry about them
- lost all will to get out of bed somedays
- put on too much weight and struggling to loose it.
- not had A DRINK.....
- become a shaddow of myself, not physically but mentally
- let everything climb all over me and run me down
Well today I've decided that I have to reclaim me, starting with my weight. I know I'm not horribly overweight but I do need to loose about 15kg... this is for me, I don't feel healthy, I feel like a blob and it doesn't help when I have a husband who just says don't worry about it, you still look good. He can't seem to understand that I DON'T feel good....
I WANT TO BE HEALTHY, not horribly skinny but strong and fit
So I need your support to help me get to the happy place, where I use to be :)
I'd post a photo but I'm too ashamed to :(
Thanks for letting me vent to you all, but it'd got to that stage where I'm just feeling like I'm in a downhill spiral and I'm not coming up for air.